SEXY SRIRACHA. Red mini-dress or other tiny revealing red clothing. Green rooster cutout pinned to your shirt (though low enough as to not obscure your cleavage.) Feel free to disperse toxic fumes.
DEAD BROGRAMMER. Jeans. Hoodie. Conference lanyard and nametag. Condescending attitude. Copious amounts of stage blood.
SUPER GONORRHEA. Wear a cape with a big G on it. Cover your face in fake boils. Affix yourself to an unassuming friend and tell him/her that there is no cure for your love.
ZOMBIE CARRIE BRADSHAW. Mini-dress. Fur. Large cordless phone. Smear mascara and eyeshadow to create impression of death. Frequently say things like, “With all of the eligible men still alive, what’s an undead girl to do?” and “I wondered: Was I killing him with my desire to get close?”
MILEY. Red lipstick. Docs. Hanes Her Way and a cropped white tank top that you tug at frequently. Demolition equipment and twerking attempts optional.
HANNAH HORVATH. Construct a bathtub out of cardboard and wear it around your midsection. Go topless. (Alternate version: Mesh tank top with no bra.)
EMOJI TWINS. Blonde wigs. Leotards. Cat ears. Lots of mascara. Perpetual can-can pose.
WENDY DAVIS. Business attire and pink sneaks. Filibustering optional.
SUSAN SONTAG. Black turtleneck or men’s button-up shirt. Paint a white streak in your hair. Blow everyone’s mind with your sexy brain.
ICONA POP. Crop top and round sunglasses. Occasionally scream, “I don’t care!” and “I love it!”